KIKU HONDA User guide and manual
by Shuridaru-chan
Summary: Congratulations! You have successfully purchased an HONDA KIKU  JAPAN  Unit! In order to help you unlock your unit's full capabilities and for your safety we have provided you this manual.  Reading is highly advised for safety of self and property


**Sorry you guys I accidentally deleted this story, I was trying to delete another one and well... you get my drift. Anyway it's the same as before and again I'm sorry.**

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><p><strong>Congratulations!<strong> You have successfully purchased an _HONDA KIKU (JAPAN)_ Unit! In order to help you unlock your unit's full capabilities and for your safety we have provided you this manual. (Reading is highly advised for safety of self and property)

**Technical Specifications **

Country Name: State of Japan

Human name: Kiku Honda or Honda Kiku

Names that unit will respond to: Nippon, Nihon, Kiku, Japan, Mr. Japan, Mr. Honda, Honda-san, Kiku-san, Otaku, and Sexy. (The last two with some flustered comments in protest of you calling him that.)

Place of Manufacture: Kyoto, Japan

Age: It isn't stated anywhere so you can just _assume_ that he's legal.

Height: Five ft. five inches or 165 cm

Length: Let's just say his katana doesn't compensate for **anything _at all_.**

**Your Unit comes with**

(1) Traditional Japanese Katana

(1) WII military uniform

(1) Present day Japanese uniform

(4) Male Kimonos

(1) Traditional samurai uniform

Various anime DVDs, volumes manga, and plushies

(1) POCHI unit {Japan's Dog}

**Programming**

Your KIKU HONDA or HONDA KIKU unit comes with the following traits:

J pop singer: KIKU HONDA has a wonderful voice and will woo anyone with it as he sings. (Even if they don't know what he's saying)? Just get him into a recording studio and your KIKU HONDA will have legions of fans from all around the world.

Scientist/inventor: After opening up his country to the rest of the world in the early forties. Japan has become one of the most high tech countries in the world. So clearly him inventing and studying things is just natural.

Teacher: KIKU HONDA is very patient and very hard to get angry so is perfect for the position as a teacher.

Manga artist: KIKU HONDA is extremely talented when he comes to drawing. Just merely give him sketch pads and pencils and he will work on it in his free time earning you plenty of money. However if he has a book case in his room, we suggest as the owner of this unit not to go through the books. Don't question us, just don't go through them.

**Removal from packaging**

KIKU HONDA is one of our more reserved units and is extremely hard (_seriously_ it's almost impossible) to anger during removal. But if by some there was damage caused during delivery or by chance you do (and we know someone will) mange anger him we've provided these fail safe ways to remove him properly.

1. Make any type of Japanese food (Preferably salted salmon) but usually anything Japanese does the trick. Warning KIKU HONDA might be hungry so it's probably best to make sure the food that you set out is for you unit. (We are not liable for any injuries caused by Otakus fighting with KIKU HONDA over food.)

2. Yell "OH MY GOD! JAPAN! THERE'S COCKROACHES IN YOUR CRATE!" But it's suggested that you find something to hide behind because the crate has been known to explode due to the simple fact Japan **hates**cockroaches. (We are not liable for any unwarranted deaths) However, if you didn't die because of that you can reprogram KIKU HONDA to the setting that you wish.

3. Activate the POCHI unit and KIKU HONDA unit will activate automatically and remove himself from the crate then leave to feed POCHI. After he comes back he will allow you to reprogram him

4. If you have a cat than KIKU HONDA will activate without warning break down the box and start to pet the cat. With this at least you will be able to reprogram him.

**Reprogramming**

After waking up KIKU HONDA and removing him from packaging you can reprogram him to the following settings.

_Shy (Default)_

_Hardworking (Default)_

_Warlord (Locked)_

_Samurai_

_Horny_

_Italian (Locked)_

_Postal (Locked)_

KIKU HONDA at default mode is _shy_ meaning that in this mode he will have to take some time to get used to you. No matter how nice you are to him and he's also _hardworking _in default settings. This means that anything he does will be to the best quality that he can achieve and he won't stop until he gets the results that he wants.

_Warlord_ is locked for a very simple reason in _Warlord_ mode Japan becomes extremely demanding and if you are a female and his owner than he will rape you and make you one of his soon to be many wives. He will be the opposite of what he is today and will not listen to anything you say because simply you are a woman. However if you are male owner than he will consider you one of his servants and basically make you his **bitch**. This mode can be unlocked by exposing him to any unit in their respective empire modes. (We are not responsible for the claims filed against you for Japan's _warlord_ mode.) This mode can be deactivated by having an ALFRED F. JONES unit demand that he 'get with the program' that the rest of the world is going with. Or have a much stronger unit kick his ass. IVAN BRAGINSKI and ALFRED F. JONES always seem to do the trick. After being defeated KIKU HONDA will revert back to default.

_Samurai_ mode is much less harsh than _Warlord_; just as the word means "to serve" this mode is unlocked by Japan gaining an emotional attachment to a person. (Unit or human) usually this attachment can be romantic (But it can also be platonic if you're hurt or he's in charge of caring for a child) and Japan will wait on you (or whomever else it maybe) hand and foot. Japan will also become extremely protective of you _and_… has a tendency to decapitate anyone who threatens you any physical harm. To get him out of this mode is much like getting him out of Warlord. However, there will be traces of this left over when he is back in default mode simply because he has an emotional attachment to you. (**Again** will are not liable for any unwarranted deaths or law suits filed against you)

_Horny_ mode can be unlocked much like many of the other units on our line getting Japan drunk. However in _horny_ mode he will be forceful like in _Warlord_ mode and have whoever he wants with or without their consent mostly because he has no idea what he is doing. This can be disabled by simply knocking him out and waiting till the morning. Or hiding in the cabinet, closet, etc. (Hiding doesn't work out well.) In which after you inform him of such events he will apologize profusely.

_Italian_ mode is locked however can be unlocked by long exposure to FELICIANO VARGAS units. In this mode Japan will become **completely** Italian and will say "vee~!" much like the FELICIANO VARGAS unit does in _adorable_ mode. This can be deactivated by removing Japan far away from FELICIANO VARGAS after a week or two he will become normal again.

_Postal_ is locked however can be unlocked by telling KIKU HONDA that someone he cares for has been i.e. killed, raped, kidnapped, or molested. In which mode he will search for and destroy the one responsible for this. However, if not allowed to do so KIKU HONDA will rain hell fire on the one who is stopping him. This mode can be deactivated by telling KIKU HONDA that it was a joke or the person who had caused that person pain is now suddenly dead. Although he won't deactivate out of that mode without a fight.

**Relationships with other units**

YAO WANG: KIKU HONDA childhood caretaker after being found by him in the woods. YAO WANG sees KIKU HONDA as a younger brother. However, because he adores KIKU HONDA it won't take much sake to get these too in a relationship.

ALFRED F. JONES: KIKU HONDA and ALFRED F. JONES units get along very well in fact and will often converse about anime and video games. So it doesn't take much for their friendship to bloom into a relationship.

LUDWIG KALTHERIG: After joining the axis Japan found he got along with Ludwig fairly well. Up to the point they helped one another while 'dieting' in order to get healthier. It will take a bit more forcefulness about it to get these two together mostly because they're both closet perverts and very shy.

FELICIANO VARGAS: If somehow you manage to not fry your KIKU HONDA unit's circuitry from exposure to this unit after a bit of fighting from KIKU HONDA there could be a relationship.

HERACLES KARPUSI: These two are the best of friends and have slept with one another (Although KIKU HONDA claims it was merely a dream.) HERACLES KARPUSI will not complain about the concept of a relationship with KIKU HONDA that way KIKU HONDA can have many, many more 'dreams'.

**Bathing**

KIKU HONDA prefers to bathe alone at first, however if you are male than he wouldn't mind as much bathing with you. But the concept of bathing with a female is notorious to cause KIKU HONDA units to faint.

**Cleaning**

KIKU HONDA will clean after himself well enough and in _samurai_ mode he is likely to clean after you as well. Just don't mess anything up KIKU HONDA units when in samurai mode too long become a bit how you say a house wife when it comes to the things he cleans. So if you make a mess expect to be gently thwacked on the head with a broom.

**Feeding**

KIKU HONDA units are well enough to feed themselves, however if your unit is dieting he will eat only tomatoes rather than his favorite food salted salmon. KIKU HONDA units won't mind cooking for you as well especially if he is in _samurai_ mode.

**Rest**

This unit will go to sleep early and wake up early as well. However, if he has a dead line for a job KIKU HONDA has a tendency to pull all-nighters if he has to.

**FAQ**

Q: My unit keeps bringing in random animals such as rabbits, guinea pigs, and kittens! At first I didn't mind but it's gone too far when I found a guinea pig in my cereal this morning!

A: There is not really a set way to stop this; however it's hard because KIKU HONDA naturally has a weakness for anything cute and fluffy. We suggest buying him rabbit cages and other cages for the guinea pigs and putting your cereal in a plastic container rather than the cardboard one it comes in.

Q: My unit keeps blushing whenever I go near his book case in his room, and he keeps trying to shoo me away from it. All I want is a book to help me with my homework!

A: KIKU HONDA is shooing you away from it for a good reason. However, it's not our place to say up and front what it is about but we can say we warned you not to go near or around his book case in his room.

Q: My unit keeps blushing and demanding that I 'take responsibility' when I hug him. What in the world is wrong with him and what does 'taking responsibility' have to do with me hugging him?

A: Your KIKU HONDA unit is by default very shy so **any** physical contact is bound to send him in to a flurry of embarrassment and other emotions. What he means by 'taking responsibility' is marrying him, remember KIKU HONDA is much like an old man and therefore is old fashioned so it _doesn't always_ mean that he's **madly** in love with you. He just doesn't want to seem like a whore.

**Trouble shooting**

Problem: Instead of an adult KIKU HONDA unit in the package that you received you found a tiny much more blunt version of KIKU HONDA who is mostly expressionless and constantly ask you questions on how to write, read, and fight. As well as asking for a YAO WANG unit.

Solution: It seems that we have shipped you a CHIBIHON unit, this unit slightly different from the normal KIKU HONDA unit because he is much blunter about everything he sees and has a stronger want to learn about everything. You can ship it back for a normal KIKU HONDA unit if you want to, however if you decide not to than we suggest to avoid any awkward conversations keep biology books out of his reach and lock your bath room door when bathing or changing. Not that CHIBIHON is a pervert it's just that he is naturally by default curious about everything.

Problem: Your unit refuses to come out of his room at all.

Solution: Congratulations you have unlocked KIKU HONDA's _isolation_ mode! He will only be willing to communicate with a NETHERLANDS unit. To get him out of this mode have an ALFRED F. JONES force him out of this mode.

**End notes**

With enough care (and salted salmon.) Your KIKU HONDA unit will become a companion for life. Just… make sure you stay away from the book case.


End file.
